The stirring of the monitor caught my attention as I glanced at the clock. NQGBebe was up from his nap…after only 30 minutes. I paused for a moment – I did not understand this sudden move in the game of babyhood. Instead, I shifted. A change in lesson plan. I stopped what I was doing (working on this post for the thousandth time?!), pushed aside my list of things to do and bounded upstairs to greet a smiling NQGBebe.
We carry on with our day when these speed bumps come up. You might be able to guess as much, as the frequency of posts around here have been completely scattered!
I am slowly understanding that my time at home with the baby is similar to being in a band rehearsal. I have a lesson in mind for each day – breakfast, lunch, dinner, 2 naps, and getting outside. Three of the six things are never an issue. NQGBebe is always cooperative when it comes to eating his breakfast, lunch and dinner. He excels at this, in fact! However, though I try to follow our loose lesson plan each day, I am never sure what the baby will bring to the table. Some days he works with me and we are cool. Other days he is uncooperative and it is a challenge to get through the day. Similarly to ‘good’ band rehearsals where some amazing things are discovered, uncovered and there are smiles all around. And then there are the ‘challenging’ rehearsals where you watch the clock willing the clock to move forward and rehearsal to end! Everyone still smiles – even if it is because class is over!
Recently, something of significance had shifted within me…I had a little more energy. I was more motivated, feeling better and felt organized, some days, to tackle tasks with better efficiency, ease and not slapped together in a haphazard manner. I have felt like a baby taking his first unsteady crawls for the past couple of months. I am able to go out and about with greater ease. It still takes forever and a day to get packed to go anywhere but the thought of packing up to go out, going out and returning home is not nearly as exhausting (mentally, emotionally and physically) as it once was.
Another event happened as we approached the 8 month mark….NQGBebe decided he had enough with Mama’s milk! What?! There were many moments in the early days of nursing when I questioned how I would survive the next hour of nursing. The fact we made it nearly 8 months breastfeeding is a major accomplishment and I am so incredibly proud we pushed through and persevered through the early months. So, we have started the new dance of making bottles with formula along with eating breakfast, lunch and dinner. Another shift in the lesson plan.
Stealing cat toys from the cat (who never paid much attention to the mice in the first place).
How is sleep going? Naps are hit or miss but mostly hits with a nap in the morning and afternoon. Typically a nap is 2 hours-ish! Most nights there are long stretches of sleep and many nights he will go down and awake in the morning happy. When I first started getting longer stretches of sleep my body had no idea how to react! I actually felt more exhausted when I would have 6 hour stretches of sleep. Seems counterintuitive, right? My body adjusted and I am feeling slightly more ‘normal.’
It still amazes me to think that 8 months ago we welcomed this little boy into our lives. I am equally amazed at the outpouring of love and support from our dear family and friends near and far. Support is critical! This has been quite a journey so far and knowing that this journey is just beginning? Thrilling. Watching a baby grow, develop and learn about the world around him is an incredible and humbling experience to be a part of. He has taught me so much!
Motherhood takes a toll on a woman! I have started acupuncture treatments – and, though I was skeptical at first – I think it has made a huge impact! After the first treatment I was a hot mess of crazy emotions that just bubbled up and out of me for a few days. I like to think that it was the start of ‘resetting’ myself in this new phase of my life. Each day now has me feeling more present, calm and better able to bend and flow with the demands of the day. Before acupuncture, I was having a hard time trying to strike a balance with motherhood, couplehood, my new job of being at home with the baby, along with my own sense of self – self-confidence, self-worth, self-esteem. To me, I have felt, my confidence really took a hit when becoming a mother. I felt I gained confidence in learning to care for a baby, yet I felt I had lost confidence with my own self. And I remind myself that this wild and wonderful journey is a true test of patience in finding and uncovering that lost confidence. I am getting back into this game and feeling strong again! Sweet Z and I are working on carving out moments of time together and have even gone on a few dates, OHY! I have been flailing around at a local Zumba class. Moving again feels great (even the aches and pains from lunges and squats is awesome – it totally beats the aches and pains from being pregnant)!
I am working on how to carve out some time to find new recipes, grocery shop (with a curious baby) cook and photograph the process and blog with a little more regularity. Truth is, I miss my old kitchen days – setting up shots, photographing the process of it all and sharing it with you! I am so getting back to that place, friends. It is time and it is much needed. Game on!
Thanks for reading!!!